Taking A Look Within…

Me, in my big ole fat girl suit, loving life.

So, this bit of fun found its way into my news feed today; Dear Fat People.

Needless to say…. I’m confused.  I’m not mad, I’m just really confused.  Half the time I don’t even think she knew what she was talking about, I sure as hell couldn’t follow her senseless rambling.

Honestly, all I could really make out is that fat people are gross, we should shame fat people into not eating, fat people are not discriminated against, hashtags for your problems won’t make them go away, I love gay people, big fat black women in church are awesome, I love all you fat people and we need to you stay around and live longer.  And really, I just couldn’t take any of it seriously.

I realize that she is calling herself a comedian, but none of it was even remotely funny, unless something sad and deformed dying by the side of the road muttering to itself like a crazy person is something funny.  HINT: I’m not the type to find that sort of thing amusing.  But, she claimed she had a serious message to relay to fat people.

You did?  Because just starting out in Valley Girl mode saying, “Uh like is this hair gel or jizz in my hair?”, then it’s over. I can’t take you seriously.  At all.  Besides that fact that she didn’t make any fucking sense throughout that entire, oh I don’t even know what it was.  Was she having a break down?  Some sort of fit?  I’m actually serious.

Is this one of those things where someone gets really trashed and thinks it’s the best idea in the world to do something that they normally wouldn’t do when sober, because, well… it’s the worst idea ever?  Was she on some sort of drugs?  That would explain a lot actually.

Someone v-logged that she seems like a smart woman (but that this was not a smart move).  Does she seem smart?  Is she playing the dumb, trashy girl or is that who she really is?  Tell me I’m wrong when I say she seemed rather stupid, flighty, and trashy.  Tell me I’m wrong.  She may not be this person in real life, but why in the hell would you want to play that for an audience… when you’re not being payed for it?  Why would anyone want to voluntarily dumb them self down?  Or make out that man jizz in their hair might be awesome or that having a TSA agents hand up your butt for a second time would be the most awesome thing ever; such a great turn on?

However, moving on.  First of all.  How many people accept when white people make fun of black people?  Actually accept it?  Probably not a lot of you.  But how many people accept it when a black person makes fun of black people?  Just about everyone.  Why?  Because it is deemed appropriate and acceptable.  While one person can’t really speak the minds of everyone in an entire group, they know enough to say something true about the generalized group.  Not all will laugh, but most will.

I have also found that when one tries to speak on matters they couldn’t possibly understand anything about, they never come off as amusing or helpful, or anything other than asinine.  Why?  Because they are speaking about things they know nothing about and the people listening can not take them seriously.

This girl has never been fat.  You can tell.  There are three types of women in this world in relation to fat.  Women who were always thin, but because fat from having kids (or perhaps some hay-wire surgery/accident).  They are generally very bitter about their weight, or say nasty, snarky things & want to reminisce about when they were beautiful.  Women who have always been considered fat; they either cow-tow to appease the fat hating gods of society, or they say, “who fucking cares.” and strut through society because they are a person and it is their right to be out and about.  Then there are the women who have never been fat, and have never been seen as fat, such as this girl.

They are the women who know about as much as living life on the planet Saturn as they do of what it’s like living as a fat woman.  That’s OK.  They’re not supposed to know.  They’ve never been to Saturn and couldn’t possibly know what life would entail if you set up home there, nor are they supposed to know what it’s like to be anything other than who they have always been.  The problem is the portion of women in that group who assume that they know.  Assume because they struggled with five or ten pounds back at age 19 that they know everything a woman who has struggled with 105 or 219 pounds would be going through.  They assume that because they can run up-hill, in the snow, for 2 billion miles, both ways, carrying two trucks loaded with mules, that anyone can do it and those who can’t are simply lazy.

I would wager a guess that these would be the same types of women who deemed black women their inferiors a few decades ago, employed them as house workers and made them use separate toilets for fear of catching their gross blacks only diseases.  I would also wager a guess that these would be the same types of women who deemed gay people as all nancy boy sluts who would ruin society.

Now these women love the gay people and the black people and think their causes are wonderful… so they say.  Well, at least if they are not fat black people or fat gay people, apparently.

Because then she goes on to attack hashtags.  That hashtags will not help your cause and that you are stupid for using them or thinking they might make any sort of difference.  #BlackLivesMatter, anyone?  #GayPride, anyone?  Sure, she says she’s only talking about fat people, but she’s dragging everyone through the mud with her it seems.  Fat or not.

Oh wait, yes!  There’s that little bit about fat black women in church are fine.  Really?  They can only be black women?  They can’t be Latina or Indigenous or anyone else whose DNA might morph their body into anything other than a typical white girl?  And they have to be black women that go to church?  And you’re giving your approval of them?  How thoughtful you are.

In closing, why would any of the fat people in the world want your approval or want to know that you love them?  Do they need that?  I wouldn’t think so.  Why would you want us all to get skinny to stay around longer?  It seems you have absolutely no interest in knowing who we really are as people; in our hearts.  All you can see is our weight.

That’s like the asshole in 7th grade who told me he might consider dating me if I lost ten pounds.  If I lose all the weight, what?  What the fuck will happen then?  You’ll suddenly think I’m worthy of being on this planet?  Actually no, you wouldn’t even care.  You’re too worried about whether people will like you with your oh-so-witty remark about that it might be man jizz in your hair.

I think I could speak for all of us larger ladies here when I say that we don’t really need your approval, your “love”, or your fashionistically delivered pearls of wisdom.  If I had a message for you it would be this:

Loving people is wonderful.  Loving people for who they are, I mean.  All of who they are.  But one doesn’t have to make a huge, flashy statement to the world about it, otherwise, it’s not really real.  Also, weight does not make a person.  There is an infinite light being that resides in all the human shells on this planet.  Your shell happens to be slender and blonde.  Mine is much larger and a brunette.  None of that bullshit matters in the long run.  It’s that person inside that matters.  It is all that matters.  I am my weight, but my weight is not me.  I am my inner self as well as my shell, I accept all of who I am, but it doesn’t mean that I am “just a fat girl”, the same as you are not “just a skinny blonde”.  You are so much more than your shell, as I am… as all of the “fat girls”… as all of the people of the world!

Also, losing weight won’t make me a new person.  I’ll still be me.  Whether I have issues I need to work on, or not.  If I were miserable now, I’ll be miserable when I’m thin, because it’s never about the weight, but the person inside.  Always the person inside the shell.

Shaming is wrong.  Period.  Shaming anyone for anything is wrong.  Shaming a man for loving another man, is the same as shaming someone for not having the “right” sexual organs, is the same as shaming someone for not being the right colour, is the same as shaming someone for not having enough appendages, is the same as shaming someone for not being you, is the same as shaming someone over their body image.

No matter what that body looks like.  Girls are shamed because their breasts aren’t big enough and are shamed if their breasts are too large.  Girls are shamed for not being tall enough or for being too tall.  Girls are always shamed for their shells.  Hell, the entire world is always shaming the rest of the world for their shells.  Too dark, too light, too wonky, too unsymmetrical.  It is never helpful, it is never something that will change the other person into who you think they should be, it is never the correct answer.  It is always done out of fear, and never love.

So, please don’t try to justify your reasoning of how I should measure up to your standards by calling it love.  Besides the only persons standards I should be measuring up to are my own.  All of you hear that?  Measure up to no one but yourself.  Be yourself.  Love yourself.  You don’t need to be anyone but you and you certainly don’t need anyone else’s approval.  That goes for thin girls, big girl, girls who are now guys, guys, guys who love guys, guys who are now girls, etc.  I don’t care.  Don’t listen to the fear mongering or the shaming.  And certainly for the Universe’s sake don’t turn around and shame someone else.  We’re all beautiful people living in very messy shells.

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