So, there’s this thing going around Facebook about your top 10 albums when you were a teenager. I did make a list, though it didn’t follow the format rules of one band, one album. But music has always been a rather big deal for me. I read books and did other things, but more often than not, I’d be holed up in my room listening to music for hours upon hours. I listened to music while I did my homework, I even, now, listen to music while I’m writing a blog post or creating art. Music is a life force for me, so how could I not write an entire post about it.
Just before the Woodstock revival of ’94 I was hitting my mid-late sixties counter-culture groove. I think that possibly every teenager goes through this at some point. Perhaps their choice is The Beatles or perhaps it’s The Greatful Dead, but at some time during their teen years, they’re listening to this music. Incidentally, somehow by sending off for it (it’s a vague memory), I obtained a Woodstock ’94 T-shirt. I was the only kid in my entire school to have one.
For myself, it was these three. I did spin some of my mom’s old Beatles records, but it was just their intro music when they first hit the scene, nothing later, though some of those later songs were alright to me. It seems like heresy, since everyone absolutely loves The Beatles, but I was never a huge fan of them. I detest Yellow Submarine, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, and Hey Jude. Yep, I’m a Beatles heretic. A couple of songs, possibly here or there, and I really liked John Lennon’s solo career, but if I were going to to choose a British band that came out at about the same time, my choice was definitely The Rolling Stones. I didn’t own any of their albums, and my parents weren’t really into them, but I did hear them growing up and listened to them a lot during my teen years, including albums they were producing at the time.
But these three right here were more influential to me during my teen years. All of which I might add, were never my parents’ cup of tea. Well, later I did find out that dad was pretty into Jimi Hendrix, but he never talked about it until I was in my twenties. Hendrix’s music was really cool… and I’m going to talk about race here, but not a lot of black people were into hard or psychadelic music, as in making it. It is a pretty monumental aspect for the time period, or even now, and is rather cool, though being black is not why his music was awesome. Playing left-handed and totally wailing that guitar, plus his lyrics were why his music was so beyond awesome. I was also intrigued by the fact that his death date was my birthday; 18. September.
Janis Joplin. This album I played the hell out of it. It was my sisters and I just pretty much took it from her. Of course I liked all of the songs, but her rendition of Summertime still gives me chills. It’s that hauntingly beautiful.
The Doors. We had a few cassette tapes of them lying around as they were my brothers, so I was into them before the film starring Val Kilmer was released. My purchase of the deluxe double album happened after the movies release, because it’s also about the same time that I purchased my very first CD player. Those discs got a lot of play during my teen years.
There’s other 60s/70s music that I listened to, but I wouldn’t really count them. Jefferson Airplane, but only the two most iconic songs (mainly because no one would play anything else by them except their Jefferson Starship stuff & parents didn’t like them) of White Rabbit and Somebody To Love. I did listen to those two songs constantly though. There was also Led Zeppelin, but I also never owned any of their albums, so it was only what the radio stations wanted to play, but luckily that was quite a bit of their catalog. I even tried to win tickets through the radio station for their tour which was happening sometime between ’94 and ’96. I didn’t win.
Pearl Jam was a huge deal during my teen years. At the time I counted them as my top favourite band. I was not very advanced with music before turning thirteen. My mother tried to keep my radio listening to practically non-existent levels and her approved items for me were lullabies, children’s books on tape, and Christian rock. Or that one time she had to pre-approve of New Kids on the Block. I wasn’t allowed any of their music, but I was allowed to watch their concert on The Disney Channel and own two books about them. Watching Kim Lane on the Gilmore Girls and I’m reminded of my love of music and my mothers own controlling nature.
With my sister and brother they could listen to the radio, watch MTV, own rock records or cassette tapes. Whatever. But someone with me, all of it was of the devil. But, at a young age I’d hear the music playing from my sisters bedroom and my dad would play Buddy Holly on car trips and I was hooked. I needed music. All of the musics! And if I had to sneak around and secretly spin even my moms old records or dial the radio to the classic rock or oldies goldies station then by god I was going to do it!
The point here is that prior to 1993, I was very limited in the music that I knew. So, when I attended the private Catholic school and the boys kept talking about that is smelled like teen spirit, I thought they meant the deodorant. I was honestly that clueless about Nirvana in that first year. All the kids in my private… Catholic… school class knew who Nirvana was… but me. That’s really sad. But once I was thirteen, I chucked all those lullabies and books on cassette tape and got my hands on anything and everything that I could.
My very first purchase was Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite for Destruction. I saved up all of my money from chores and skipped lunch at school to be able to buy it. I listened to it on repeat with my headphones on in my room and would strategically hide it away in a booby trapped area deep within my room, so my mother would not find my contraband. This was my first purchase for several reasons. One, several of the Catholic school kids were talking about them a lot. Two, a friend of mine’s dad had the album (so more exposure to me), and thirdly, I had learned how to unprogram my mothers child blocking on the telly to bring in channel 28; MTV. My mom at this time was working with my dad in his shop, so the entire summer before seventh grade started, I stayed inside and watched MTV, Head Bangers Ball included. The MTV Awards that year had Guns ‘N Roses playing and so I made their first album my first as well.
Other albums soon followed, either by me saving up my chore money and foregoing lunch at school, or else by friends making bootleg copies for me, or the one time I struck gold and found Metallica’s Black Album in my possession. We’d gone on a school field trip. Several students borrowed my cheap cassette walkman and when I got it back, there was the tape snuggled inside. I kept it. I heard their music on my covert MTV missions and had been wanting this album and then the Universe said, “Here ya go!”
There was also the time when in high school my sister was dating some guy and when they broke up she ended up keeping the Queensryche album Empire. I suppose that was my very first album as she didn’t want it and gave it to me. I listened to it starting at the beginning of summer break between 6th and 7th grade.
I’ll wrap this portion up by saying that I took these tapes with me everywhere and was constantly listening to them through headphones. However, on one trip to my grandparents house my mother suddenly wanted to know what I was listening to. She ripped my purse out of my hands found all the contraband and when we stopped for a pit stop she took them into the bathroom with her. You could hear them breaking and snapping and she put her weight on them. I was frantic and crying outside the bathroom door. She left my purse in there and left. However, when I went back in there were no tapes. She surely couldn’t have flushed them and I turned the garbage can upside down and searched through all of it. No tapes. I honestly have no idea how she made them disappear, but they were gone. I hardened my resolve and hitched up my big girl panties and vowed to obtain all of it over again and then some.
So, Pearl Jam. They were all the rage when they came out on uni campuses. It’s a safe bet that the majority of people at my school under the age of 17 had never even heard of them. I wouldn’t have known about them had my sister not played their Ten cassette, in a cassette boom box which I had to hold in my lap, while driving around. I liked it, a lot. By eighth grade, she’d purchased the CD copy and gave me the cassette. I played it until my mom busted it in that bathroom. However from all of the play it saw, it was about on its last legs anyway. I’d also say that it was a fair bet that I got most of my friends into Pearl Jam, considering none of them had even heard of the band until I played Ten for them.
I had all of their albums from Ten to Yield. I played and enjoyed all of them (except No Code. It was only just alright.), but these three were the ones I listened to the most.
R.E.M. was another huge band for me during my teens. Actually I’d been listening to their music for awhile in my secret radio sessions. The first album of theirs that I purchased was Monster, then Green, and then New Adventures. I listened to these albums practically on repeat into infinity. More so the first two as this was when I was fourteen. I even had the T-shirt for Monster. Somehow it was OK by my mom that I wear band T-shirts… I just couldn’t listen to the music. *rolls eyes*. Fashion wise, things were tough during my teen years. She didn’t say no to my bad T-shirts and didn’t try to take them away immediately, but after awhile would want to throw them out. Some were killed in the mêlées, while others I was able to save. She stopped when she had rounded up everything in my room one day that she found inappropriate. The combat boots that I always wore were in that cull. Once I informed her that they were dad’s military issue combat boots and that she’d better not have thrown them away or she’d have to deal with them, they miraculously showed up in my room the next day along with other choice items as I suppose she was unsure if they were my dad’s or not, and the swipings pretty much stopped that day.
I’m surprised that I was even allowed to watch this film when it came out. But I was allowed to keep renting it from the video store until the film and soundtrack were given to me for Christmas of ’93. I played the tape until my VCR ate it. It wasn’t even the love story between the two main characters, it was the war and the time period and the really great music. I also played the tape until it went bust. Which is not a big surprise since there was a constant rewinding and fastforwarding to hear the perfect songs over and over and over and over again. I still love this score and still listen to it to this day.
Stone Temple Pilots. I couldn’t stop listening to them. That first album, Core, I signed up for a music club and received that. I didn’t think it through, being thirteen. The problem was that I thought one could just do the initial one time getting of music. Wrong. I thought I would have enough money to cover the four tapes that I purchased. Wrong again. I thought you could send cash through the postal system. Thanks for playing but that’s wrong too. Dad helped me get out of that scrape. I felt bad not paying for any of it, but dad just said I could keep the tapes and he wrote them and said I was only thirteen and this contract was void.
Never did own Purple, but through friends a tape was cobbled together, and Tiny Music I did end up purchasing though it took awhile. I remember the song Trippin’ on a whole in a Paper Heart and then Metallica’s newest, Until it Sleeps being played back to back on the radio. Not the local station mind, but I was on the coast for a summer science camp and they’ve always had better radio stations. I couldn’t get enough of either of these two songs. Though overall Tiny Music isn’t as great of an album as the first two, despite having a great title (Tiny Music… Songs From the Vatican Gift Shop) and pretty terrific cover art, it’s still influential for that first radio play of that albums’ first single. I still remember that feeling. In the dorm room trying to drown out my annoyingly chipper and chatty roommate and slowly turning the volume knob up while my smile grew larger until she was completely drowned out (of which I didn’t even care) and I was in a blissful fog of chord changes and song lyrics that felt like they were being played just for me. At that moment in my life I had just heard my one perfect song.
Years later I did attend Voodoo Fest with my sister. There were three stages to account for all of the acts, but we pretty much camped out at the middle one, because it was this open field and very uncrowded and we were happy enough to see Ben Harper, Live and whoever else played. STP was going to play stage three at some point in the afternoon. I can not begin to tell you how I excited I was about that! We left stage two and went to the entrance to the stage three area, but it was slam packed with people and looked dark and scary. I didn’t want to try and wend my way through that! No way! I’d been to a Fiona Apple concert once in New Orleans at The House of Blues. A tenth of the people but still crowded and I absolutely hated it. Too many people who were entirely too close to me. So, I lingered at the entrance and heard about three minutes of STP playing live and then left and went back to the happier arena. I still wish that I had seen STP play live, but I also do not regret not squeezing in with all of those people. Not at all.
I am also surprised that I was allowed to rent this film from the video store. It was one that I kept renting, though I watched again recently and it’s weird. I mean obviously these people are older than my sister and their lives have never and will never parallel mine in the slightest. But as a thirteen year old their lives seemed beyond cool. Not so much anymore. And it was strange the watch. However, the soundtrack to the film is what I constantly played.
On a side note, in eighth grade I loaned it and my favourite sweater, which was my mom’s, to this girl. I shouldn’t have, but hind sight is 20/20 and all that. She wasn’t a very honourable girl in eighth grade. The tape she was supposed to copy and have back within a week, the sweater within a day. After two weeks, well I wanted my things back. It was apparent that she was hoping to keep them and that I’d forget. It ended badly, though I did get the tape back, in a huge huff, but never the sweater and we never talked again in school. Years later in our late twenties she found me online through Livejournal and apologized to me about the entire incident. I was taken aback, I’ll admit. I never imagined I’d get an apology and one that I could tell she really meant. I never figured, that even if she did feel remorseful later in life, that she would use time trying to find me to make amends.
I did ask about the sweater, in a nice way, on the off chance she might have kept it, only because it held sentimental value. She really hated me in middle school because she admitted to destroying it just so I couldn’t have it back, which at that point she apologized some more. Of course I forgave her and said it’s all water under the bridge. I wasn’t mad or upset or hurt by any of it anymore, just shocked, and I only asked just to see if it was still around, but forgiving her was more important than a sweater that I’d given up for gone twenty years before. We don’t communicate anymore, I think that’s all either of us really needed to move on.
The Offspring were a pretty big deal to me. I liked all of their songs that I heard while as a teenager. I also never owned any of their albums. There weren’t many that I could actually go out and buy when they were brand new; tape or CD. Had to wait awhile for the price to drop, so most of my collection were bootlegs; all the albums that friends had recorded on cassette tape for me, or various hit songs put together on a mix tape. I even had mix tapes of songs I’d recorded from the radio, but there weren’t a lot of current hit songs that my radio stations were playing, so I think I only had one tape. You might think that if I’d saved the money and not spent it on recordable tapes. Ah! but those were super cheap, plus my family had quite a few of them collecting dust, brand new with nothing on them. Plus, I couldn’t afford a portable CD player, nor the adapter to play it through the car speakers via tape deck. And none of our cars had CD players, so tapes were actually very prized at the time.
Anyways, Smash by The Offspring was the only album I ever had; bootleg, recorded for me by one of my friends. I listened to it until it practically melted from overuse. I still listen to songs from this album and a few others that I’ve collected via iTunes over the years. I find it amusing that The Offspring seem to be a love it or hate it band. Everyone I hung around with in high school, to my knowledge, liked them, so at the time I didn’t think anything about it. My sister moved to LA, came back and introduced all this other music to me, one of which was 311. At the time that I was listening to it in my headphones, I wasn’t aware that some people knew about them. A kid down the street who mocked me when he found out that’s what I was listening to. And then a girl I was sort of friends with, who was ga-ga over Nirvana until Kurt Cobain died… and then apparently was ga-ga over 311.
Music brings about strange irrationalities in people. Like the guy who thought I was uncool for liking 311… or the fact that I should have cared, considering most people do? Or when that girl found out I was listening to 311; her immediate response was to be on the defensive, like no one’s as cool as her because I was just a poser because they were becoming popular now. When I shrugged and was very unemotional about all of it and just stated that my sister got into them while she was living in LA and brought me back a copy, then she suddenly wasn’t so defensive. Like somehow that was OK; somehow I wasn’t really a poser or wasn’t going to try and pretend that I knew all about them? Why should I? I didn’t know shit about them… yet. Or perhaps getting the music directly from LA counts as cool? I don’t know. People are weird.
I say like what you wanna like and don’t like what you don’t, but who cares what other people are listening to. I wasn’t really into boy bands in middle or high school, but if someone liked The Backstreet Boys or Nsync, I didn’t care. It wasn’t my right to care and belittle them for it. That’s what they liked. Good for them. Later in high school, I liked this British boy band called BBMak. People tried to make me feel bad for listening to them, but I pretty much just told them to fuck off. “I like it.” And pretty much with the simple statement of “I like it”, people will stop attacking you about it. *rolls eyes*
My point is that since high school I’ve found two things to be similar. One is a set of films, and one set is music. The films are The Dark Crystal and The Labyrinth. I love The Dark Crystal, but I very much dislike The Labyrinth. I love David Bowie and Jim Henson, but I just can’t watch that film. Most people that I meet are huge Labyrinth fans and absolutely detest The Dark Crystal. At least I can see how these two get pitted against each other.
I’ve found the same is true for The Offspring vs 311. I don’t know why the two get pitted together as they sound nothing alike and really have nothing in common except for the fact that freaks and outcasts for the most part were listening to these bands. But if someone loves The Offspring then they absolutely hate 311 and vice versa. I like both, but I’d always choose Offspring over 311. My sister likes both, but will always choose 311. No one else I’ve ever met likes both. It is perplexing to say the least.
I was really big into Blondie. I’d heard the music a little bit while growing up and got really into the video for Rapture because they kept playing it on VH1. Couldn’t stop listening to this album once I got it. A few people knew about Blondie from VH1, but a lot of people had no idea what I was listening to, which seems weird to me. How could you not know about Blondie?! If I could, then surely you would, right?
I found out about Alice In Chains because of The Singles Soundtrack. When my friends got into them and I wanted the music they happily abliged. I found it oddly amusing though that some of them laughed when I said I knew who they were, like they didn’t believe that I’d been listening to them for four years before they got into them. That is not important to me, but the fact that it’s so unimportant to me who was listening to what first, but that it apparently mattered to them, so I was mocked for it is, well… just plain weird to me. And worth noting because I just don’t understand that type of thinking.
I only ever had a few of their songs on some mix tapes from friends (why couldn’t they copy the entire album for me? I don’t know). This one I acquired for $1 when I was 17 or 18 from an older friend who wasn’t interesting in their music really anymore. And so, it got the hell played out of it. A bit of a scratch over Sunshine which is an absolutely fantastic song, but I was able to tweak it about while ripping it to my computer and finally got an unglitchy copy after a few tries. Thankfully. After that things went further down hill and pretty much the entire disc was jacked up. Not my tweaking, it was just old and I know my friend had played the hell out of it when it was hers. At least I still have the music, just in a different format.
I’ve listened to everything U2, from their early stuff while I was growing up to songs they were putting out while I was a teenager. I think there’s all this talk about Bono being some uppity “person we’re not supposed to like” or how people were pissed that their album was just given to everyone through iTunes. I don’t feel this way about U2. Perhaps I’m supposed to, but I don’t. I thought it was cool they gave their album away for free and Bono seems alright to me. I don’t want to be BFF’s with him or anything, but he seems OK. Also apparently my sister & her then boyfriend met Bono on a train while in Europe in ’94. They weren’t 100% certain, but they were pretty certain it was him. They thought he was pretty swell.
Anyways, so U2. Mainly heard this pumping through my sisters stereo in her room. Was also able to catch songs in secret radio listening times and at friends houses. I’d never heard an album, ungarbled, in its entirety before, but I wanted one. I knew the names of some of the songs on this album, it was an early album and the cover was cool… plus it was only about $5, so I purchased it. Listened to the entire album non-stop for two weeks. Until my dreams were the words in the songs on replay. Until the I knew all the lyrics by heart and they became part of the very fabric of me.
My sister will sometimes recount how when Suzanne Vega’s Left of Center song hit the airwaves, it instantly became my sisters favourite song. She was, oh, about twelve. She’s listen to it on repeat for weeks once she obtained it and it just spoke to her. I was older, certainly, but the majority of this album did something to me; something for me, which I can’t quite explain. When she tells that story, I think of this album for me.
I’ve gone a little out of order. I think I was about 17 with War. I was 16 when this album dropped. Obviously I did enjoy the album and was a tiny bit Marilyn Manson crazy. I didn’t start dressing in black or painting my face or thinking that I needed to worship the devil or anything. I mean I did dress in black but I’d been doing that for a year already. It was the Souixsie Souix, Morrisey, and Bauhaus influences, I suppose. Anywho, I listened to this album a lot. Even almost got to see him in concert before news spread among parents that this guy was evil and to save your children.
Of course I still listened to the music in secret and told my parents “who? what? no, I don’t like him.” Really I just remember driving around with one friend of mine out in the wilds around the city listening to this album and contemplating our teenage lives. It’s not an album one might find introspective thoughts being discussed to, but that’s what happened. There’s still a few songs I like from this album, and honestly his rendition of The Eurythmics’ Sweet Dreams (though not on this album) is actually pretty fantastic. I love their version, but Mansons take on it is really great.
Interesting side note. OK, weird side note. In my junior year, so I’m seventeen, a girl I’d known since 7th grade comes up to me says, “I stole this for you”, proceeds to open her plaid over shirt and then shoves Marilyn Manson’s biography (the hardbound version) into my stomach before rushing off. As I noted earlier, yeah I liked the band, but I didn’t like them that much & I certainly didn’t want people stealing stuff for me, Manson related or otherwise. But I did read that book. My sister planned a camping trip that weekend and I went out there, sat by the fire with a Coleman lantern and read through the entire thing over that weekend. It wasn’t a difficult read, not really good, but also not too terrible. I never thought he was evil, but you know what? That guy was a total nerd. Not that that’s bad, but it’s a far cry from “save yo babies!!”
I’d slightly, slightly heard anything at all by Depeche Mode. Ever. It was their typical, we can play this in po-dunk-ville on the radio singles like Enjoy The Silence and People Are People. I’d heard Personal Jesus before somewhere and though it sounded familiar, the sound of it, I didn’t know enough Depeche Mode to actually place it as them. Had a guy friend and he was talking about this band. Told him I’d heard a tiny bit of them and he thrust these albums at me. “Listen to them.” So, I did. And when I found that I was listening to them on repeat and it had been a week, I gave them back, purchased my own copies, and have never looked back.
Depeche Mode vs The Cure isn’t as cut and dry as the other bare-knuckle boxing matches of The Dark Crystal vs The Labyrinth or The Offspring vs 311. However, I have noticed that while there’s not strong emotion, people certainly have a preference. Myself, I really like Depeche Mode. The Cure…? Eh, I don’t hate ’em, but I could pretty much live without them. My sister feels the same, only vice versa with her choice always being The Cure.
I feel like I can’t even truly be a Cure fan considering that Friday I’m In Love was actually played on the radio when I was 8 or so, and I was convinced that it was Ringo Starr making a comeback. Laugh, go ahead as it’s ridiculously amusing. But it is true.
Rammstein’s Sehnsucht. Not their first album, but certainly the first one getting any airplay (I suppose in larger cities) and actually gaining strength in America. Two of my guy friends and I had heard one of their songs on the radio while in other, larger cities/areas. Mine was Jackson, there’s was on the coast. By the time we hooked up again the next weekend to hang out it’s all we could talk about, though they knew far more about them than I did and that wasn’t much. One of them went out that night, procured the album and came back the next night so we could all listen to it.
It was beyond awesome that it was in German, but also neither of us knew any German. I’d wanted to take it in high school, but the scheduling was rather weird, and I felt, secretive about it, so I always missed out. So, we had absolutely no idea what they were saying. No clue at all. Later in my twenties I would find out that most Americans thought that the title song of Sehnsucht, that they were saying “chainsaw”. I could sort of hear that after I read that tidbit story. But really those guy friends and I could only hear zighn zookt (which is basically how that’s pronounced), though that didn’t mean we knew what it meant. It’s yearning by the way, the meaning of that word.
Anywho, so this was pre-internet days and the CD booklet did us no good because it was all in German. But we had someone we could talk to. Actually I had someone we could talk to. Basically my town was a-flood with German exchange students that year. There were three, which is a lot considering my town rarely saw exchange students from anywhere. Two were going to the city high school and one was at mine. I’d met the girl because she had been dating one of the guys I was currently friends with. He brought her into our coffee house. They broke up, she kept coming in and we became really great friends. Later she dragged the other exchange student, a guy, over to the coffee house, which is how I met him.
So, the guy exchange student at my school. People for the most part kept avoiding him or being rude to him. Well, I know what that’s like and can’t stand it. I’d wanted to meet him because how fascinating and there’s so much, culturally, that I could learn from him, but also now, well, he seemed to need friends, or at least a girl who could be scary and intimidating to tell everyone else to fuck off because he was far too polite for that. So, I basically strode up to him in the hallway and started talking to him and in a strong, but nice way basically made him be my friend?
It was difficult for me to talk to new people, it still is actually. So, I’d buck up and be kind of brusk but nice when meeting people, so if they turned out to be mean, it wouldn’t catch me off-guard and I wouldn’t start crying or something. So, he was sort of roped into being my friend, but I didn’t mean to force him into it. But, we did end up getting on well and hung out a lot out of school. We reconnected a few years ago, and he admitted that he was a little intimidated by me and that I might have liked him and was coming on too strongly. Think that really tomboyish girl on Saved By the Bell. The one who really, really liked Zak Morris and would punch him in the shoulder and say, “HEY Zakee!!” Yeah, that was about his impression of me. How mortifying. But at least it was only at first, and I wasn’t too weird after we really were friends.
OK, so perhaps I was that girl all through our friendship? I didn’t like him in that way, I’m just weird. So, he came to the coffee house and I said, “We have this album and you’re going to translate, let’s go!” and we pretty much kidnapped this German exchange student, drove him away from my house and forced him to listen to music he wouldn’t have normally listened to and have him translate. I didn’t ask him, I just thought, “we’re friends, of course he’d be delighted to do this.” I apologized about this later. He claims that while he was a bit nervous at first like we might cut him up or something, he found the whole thing rather amusing. Whew!
So, umm… needless to say he didn’t translate completely and I don’t blame him. AW…WARD to translate half of that to people you don’t know. So, we got the Disney-fied basics of what might be happening in some of the songs and listened, blissfully unaware for the next several years.
Almost went to the Family Values tour with those guys, but my parents found out that I’d be alone with two guys for a weekend three states away and said absolutely not. Honestly those guys didn’t see me as a girl, they saw me as a guy or a table lamp, which is how I also saw them. They weren’t interested in the least. I really didn’t want to drive three states over with them when there were only three bands I wanted to see, but I found out too late that the Family Values Tour had just played on the coast. So, I’m more upset that I missed that. Though, from my previous thoughts on the Fiona Apple concert and the arena housing STP, I wouldn’t have made it through.