The Vagina and You

So, there is endless conversation about women parts.  There always has been, but I, for one, am being inundated by it now; at least for the past five years.  However, the conversation that I’m getting is that people don’t actually understand women parts.  They like to think that they do, but they do not.

I think the sexes should learn about one another, so that you are informed.  However, if you do not have a vagina or are not a licensed OBGYN (that’s OB = Obstetrician = Baby Doctor (pregnancy/childbirth/female reproductive parts) | GYN= Gynecologist = Female Doctor/female reproductive parts | not all Gynecologists are Obstetricians.) who actually studies woman parts, in-depth, then you don’t get to really give your opinion on such matters, or alternate facts, or regulations, etc.

So, I’m going to discuss what being a woman is like and what real science has to say on the matter, and what people woefully do not understand.

 

 

So, let’s take a look at the female anatomy.  After all, if you’re going to have these particular body parts, or are going to stick your dick into them, then you should very well know what it’s all about.

 

Interior views of The Women's Reproductive Organs || >>lifemapsc.com | >>mvstudyguide.com
Interior views of The Women’s Reproductive Organs || >>lifemapsc.com | >>mvstudyguide.com

So, here are two diagrams depicting the front and side views of the internal female reproductive organs (the bladder and urethra are there for directional reference).  You are all very aware of the Vagina.  But we also have the Cervix, the Uterus, The Fallopian Tubes (which are lacking description on either diagram, except the one to the left refers to them as the Oviduct), and The Ovaries.

For purposes of sex and reproduction, the penis enters the vagina only.  A woman may have uncomfortable sex on occasion, because the cervix does move up or down depending upon a woman’s cycle, but still the penis will not penetrate it.  Not when the woman is pregnant, or when she is not.  Millions of sperm are released from the penis into the vagina and travel up through the cervix, the uterus, and into the fallopian tubes.  The sperm will never enter the ovaries.  Conception only happens if a viable egg is released from the ovary into the fallopian tubes and is there waiting to be fertilized by sperm.

 

The Vulva, or Exterior Female Reproductive Organs || >>planetnation.com
The Vulva, or Exterior Female Reproductive Organs || >>planetnation.com

Before getting more into how things work, or how things can go wrong, there’s a whole other area to women’s reproductive parts that we should be discussing.  It is the Vulva, which are all of the things contained on the exterior between a woman’s legs; the area between the pubis bone (mon pubis area) and the anus.  From the Prepuce to just before the Perineal, everything is protected by the outer labia.  Unless a woman shaves, all of this will be covered in pubic hair.  But the outer (or majus/major) labia are squishy area’s of skin that are raised up.  Some women can have very prominent to modest outer labia.  This area will fill with blood (much like the male penis during an erection) which helps the woman feel pleasure during intercourse.

The Prepuce, also called the Clitoral hood, protects the Clitoris, which is something that apparently most men do not understand at all.  All fertilized eggs begin as female, then when the DNA starts to form their particular strand for that fetus, the sperms properties decide if the fertilized egg will be male or female.  There is debate that the Clitoris is the female penis.  It certainly operates in the same way.  When a woman becomes stimulated, blood flow increases to not just the outer labia, but also to the clitoris and it becomes erect, coming out from underneath the hood.  The only purpose the clitoris serves (that we know of) is simply for sexual pleasure.

Then you have the inner labia (minus/minor).  It too will swell up during arousal due to the increased blood flow to the area.  This area, however is more sensitive than the outer labia, and seems more like open skin, or the interior of the body, as opposed to the very fleshy skin of the outer labia.  The swelling is for the purpose of increased sexual pleasure during intercourse.

Hidden below the inner labia are the urethra (the exit upon where women urinate), closer to the pubic bone and clitoris, as well as the opening to the vagina which is closer to the perineal and the anus.

Since no one understands “women cancers”, I’ll go ahead and state that a woman can get cancer in every single one of these parts; the cervix, the uterus, the fallopian tubes, the ovaries, and the vulva.  As well as a myriad of other problems, which I’ll discuss further on.

 

The Menstrual Cycle || >>iheartguts.com
The Menstrual Cycle || >>iheartguts.com

 

The Menstrual Cycle is not just the bleeding a woman does in part of the month.  There’s a whole 28 days where various hormones fluctuate and a lot of interior things happen, most of which women don’t take much notice in, unless they are having trouble conceiving and try to do their best to gauge when conditions will be right from fertilization.

Just on the topic of bleeding, however, there is a lot going on.  A woman will bleed anywhere from 2 – 7 days and with a variation of flow sizes.  It is normal for a woman’s period to change, but most have a pretty steady monthly flow that is normal for them, when change only occurs later in life towards the end of their thirties and into their forties.  So, one woman could have a cycle that is light to moderate for three days since her first menstruation, where another woman will have a full seven day’s worth of moderate to heavy bleeding.  There is never one particular length or amount for every woman.

Besides the egg, which was released prior to bleeding and was not used, the uterine lining will also come away, which is the basics of a woman’s period.  It’s mainly just liquid blood, but can have some of what I call “clotting” in it.  I do; I say to myself that there are blood clots in it, though I understand this is not what is happening.  But, it is mucous and uterine lining in my bath water or on my tampon.  It’s more substantial and more solid than mere liquid.  But it’s easier for my mind to say “blood clot” than that full description.

It may not always be fun, but if you have women parts, then this is a monthly thing for you.  And it bothers me to no end that men are disgusted by it.  Men who also try to regulate what they don’t know or understand or to put God into things.  Hate to break it to you men, but women are not doing anything on purpose in order to bleed every month.  If God made us, then God is the one who wishes for women’s bodies to bleed every month.  And I’ll not buy into that whole malarkey of Eve sinning and that’s why women are damned.  It’s men not understanding something and trying to shame it from the dawn of time.  Besides most men think that poo is just fabulous and love talking about it.  You can’t love poo and then shame women for having a period.

There is a lot of misinformation out there regarding women’s reproductive parts and cycles.  Things where, if there was an understanding, wouldn’t lead to such misinformation.  We saw video’s in class on how to make babies.  We did not discuss men’s reproductive bodily functions, nor women’s.  The women stuff was saved for Girl Scouts, where only girls would know.  Any information was skirting the subject at best.

However, I think this is a disservice; to not share across lines what humans bodies are capable of; to keep boys only knowing what male bodies do, etc.  Or to skip out on important information like “the man inserts his penis into the woman’s vagina.”  If you’re having sex, then there’s nothing taboo about this and shame on you for trying to make what humans do all dirty.  Children who are just about to hit puberty, or are going through it, should know the basic science of how babies are made, if you’re going to even bother telling them how babies are made.  Don’t dumb it down and edit it.    My own dad is under the illusion that “liberal” schools and The Girl Scouts are sharing pornographic information on sexual education to which kids should never be exposed to until they are adults.

I disagree.  They’re giving basic facts and science to children whose bodies are about to change or are changing.  It’s only pornographic if the material is playing sleazy swank music and has a moustached guy saying absurd things or using lewd language or actually banging some girl or some other such nonsense.  Sex is not pornographic.  You’re a hypocrite if you’ve ever had sex and then say that sex ed is porno and shouldn’t be taught to anyone.  And the about to change part of my sentence up there is important.  They’re not teaching sex ed to four-year olds.  They’re teaching it to 9-11 year olds.  Girls can go through puberty as early as nine.  She should have information before she’s thrust into an adult body.

I know, I know…  Protect the little children at all costs and all that jazz.  Except you’re really doing more harm than good.  Don’t you remember what it was like to be a pre-teen and teenager.  And if you tell me that you didn’t fool around or even think about it, then you’re lying.  Either that or you are a cyborg or you really need some hormone therapy.  I’m not saying that it’s OK for thirteen year old kids to have sex, however, by telling a teenager “NO!” and not giving them information, you think they’ll go, “OK…” and do what you say, but you’re only fooling yourself.

Humans are conditioned to want to mate.  It is only man and society that has put laws onto it by stating when you’re an adult/when you should have sex.  The human body doesn’t understand adult versus kid.  It only understands what it was made to do.  Pump out hormones and sex drives.  You don’t deny information and suppress the body; you educate.  Tell your pre-pubescent/pubescent kids how male and female bodies work.  “This is what yours will do, this is the other.”  Tell them the plain facts about sex and don’t child-proof it.  You don’t have to tell them how to have sex (as in thrusting or lube or other things) or how to please their partners according to Cosmo, but they should have a basic understanding of what can lead to babies.  And they should be told that sex should wait, because honestly no teen is really ready for those types of commitments of sexual intimacy, broken hearts because the guy doesn’t care now, or ending up raising a kid.  Hell some adults aren’t ready for any of that either.  And if they choose to, then protection is needed and explain that.

This is why teen birth rates are high in states that have skewed sex ed classes and do not discuss contraception and only utilize scare tactics with STD’s.  States like Mississippi.  The state where I grew up a teenager and the lack of information and the persistence of fear mongering was coupled with abstinence until marriage was the only way things were going to go down… “because I said so, that’s why!!”  Teenagers have all the hormones to have sexual desires and drives and all of the attitude to say “fuck you” to things that feel stifling or misleading.  80% of the teens at my school were fooling around or having intercourse simply because their parents gave them ultimatums and said no.  That’s not how to handle wanting your kid to wait.  At all.

As a young girl, I tried to navigate a woman’s world alone.  For one, I really did think that my mother would parade around my bloodied underwear announcing that I was a woman and being all weird about it.  She was actually OK with the information.  However, she told my dad, which I didn’t want her to do, and then my dad avoided me because I was weird now.
But, the period talk in Girl Scouts didn’t really prepare me for my first period.  It wasn’t a “you’ll have to experience it before you truly understand”, but more of a “I am woefully ill-informed on this subject.”  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I didn’t know what I was seeing when smaller bits of substantial matter came out.  I didn’t understand pad sizes or why there were different one’s.  Which, for the first four – five periods, I hid it all from my mother and used depends, pads, and panty liners that she no longer needed because she’d gone through parimenopause (early menopause).  She had ovarian cysts and everything had to come out.  She needed the depends because of the post-op recovery from that surgery.  When I ran out and couldn’t see using wadded up toilet paper any longer, that is when I came forward and told her.

I still didn’t understand the different pad sizes and none of my questions were answered, and honestly any time I changed a pad (because I needed super and not light, though my mom said this was all I’d need – which wouldn’t have happened if we actually informed people!), it was like a miniature Civil War was being fought in my bathroom.  I’d have to spend 30 minutes cleaning up blood drips and slings everywhere!  “How did that get there?!!?!”

And especially if you’re going to mock women, or dictate how they should function, then you better well have the proper information, because otherwise you just look like an idiot.

For periods you may have heard the following:

  • It’s unnatural
  • It’s disgusting
  • If you could learn to control your bladder, you wouldn’t need tampons.
  • Why can’t you just sit on the toilet until you’re done.
  • I don’t want to see that (on unused feminine care products)

All of which is just a bunch of tosh (as in rubbish, as in nonsense).  It’s how our bodies were made, no matter which way you believe we were made (God, Gods, Aliens, matter forming).  It’s what a woman’s body does.  It’s supposed to do this.  Just as anyone is supposed to release waste the body has broken down as either urine or feces.  It’s what the body does.  Just because yours (as a man) doesn’t do this, too bad.  I don’t have a penis or sperm, but this doesn’t make you wrong for having those things.

It is disgusting, because human anatomy is pretty disgusting.  Poo is disgusting.  But it is natural.  Having a cold is disgusting.  But all of that mucous and drippiness and stuff you might cough up, that’s your body doing it’s thing to fight off the invader.  It’s not the invader, it’s you.  So, it is natural.  I think male genitalia is pretty creepy looking, but it’s not like they can help it, so you just don’t tell them it’s creepy.  A woman’s period is inside parts and blood coming out and it smells tangy like blood and if you don’t care for yourself properly, the blood will rot upon hitting the air and smelly like some meat market.  It is gross.  But, one is not supposed to worry about how disgusting it is biologically, especially when they’re not going to mock other things as well like fighting off a cold, pooing, vomiting, etc.

While the bladder is in close proximity and does get effected by the uterus and by women’s things, predominantly a woman having to urinate frequently when she is pregnant, because the baby growing inside the uterus is pressing on the bladder and it can not hold as much as it could before there was a baby growing in there.  Or how women going through menopause will pee themselves a little from sneezing or laughing.  And women can have this problem whether they’re going through the change or not.  It’s just bodies.  They’re all different in their sameness and some women will pee a little because their muscle repetitiveness is different from another woman’s.  However, women do not urinate out of their vagina’s.  This is not what a period is, nor is it why women need tampons or pads.  Besides I think it’s a bit creepy that the body part that a man pee’s out of is supposed to go inside of me and deposit a whole something else.  But, do I shame men for it?  No.

One can not simply sit on the toilet and wait for a period to pass.  It’s a constant slow dripping for an undetermined amount of days between 2 & 7.  I don’t want to sit on the toilet all day and night for seven days.  You wouldn’t either.  But if you bothered to learn what a period actually is and how it works, you wouldn’t think ridiculous things.

 

For Pregnancy you may have heard the following:

  • God doesn’t kill babies, so there is no such thing as a miscarriage.
  • There’s only a miscarriage in the instance of rape, because it is wrong, so if the woman’s telling the truth and it really was rape, then she won’t get pregnant.
  • There is absolutely no need for abortion.
  • You will never be able to have another baby if you have an abortion.
  • If a woman miscarries, it’s God’s plan, and there are no emotions.
  • If a woman has an abortion, she’ll have remorse.

 

These are just a few and we will certainly discuss.  I’m sure you can see two illogical statements.  God is for miscarriages, God doesn’t cause miscarriages.  Well, is he doing it or not?  If people aren’t going to understand what’s really happening inside a body that is not their own, they should at least get their falsehoods to be the same.

Miscarriages.  If you don’t believe that they happen, you try telling that to the millions of women who have experienced them.  My own mother hoped and prayed and tried for twelve children.  What she got were two daughters and six miscarriages in between.

Pregnancy (and anything having to do with it) are sticky subjects because there’s a whole lot going on.  First of all, the woman’s body, though while releasing eggs and having the ability to grow another human, is first and foremost a baby killing machine.  The vaginal canal is extremely acidic.  Most sperm do not survive mere seconds inside of it.  Once sperm enter the uterus, anti bodies come to fight them off.  Sperm is seen, by the female body, as a very unwanted invader.  A fertilized egg is often seen as a bodily invader as well.

There is a miracle to birth, but it’s not because God chose for a human to grow in there.  The miracle is that anything can even survive inside of there.  There are lots of problems you won’t hear about.  Not because they are rare, but because people aren’t talking about it.  Things like how it is not uncommon for an egg to not move out of the fallopian tube and into the uterus upon fertilization to continue growing.  An Ectopic Pregnancy.  They are not rare.  They’re not common, meaning every single woman will experience it, but they do happen a lot.  The fallopian tubes aren’t meant to stretch at all.  If this isn’t seen too, the growing egg will rupture the fallopian tube and the woman will die.

You could have the wrong shaped uterus and therefore getting an egg to attach, or it and you surviving nine months is risky at best.  It’s also not rare.

There are lots of reasons for a miscarriage.  Your uterus just isn’t up to snuff and the egg won’t stay attached.  Your body continues to see the egg as a threat and gets rid of it.  You have an infection or a disease like diabetes.  You have hormonal problems (too low, too high, or too fluctuating).  50 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.  There’s just a lot of things that can go wrong/aren’t working properly/everything’s not in place for the green light or perfection basically.  You might not even realize you’re pregnant and you simply have your next period.  Most miscarriages happen in the first three months, but it is not uncommon to have a later term miscarriage.

The body should simply slough all of it away.  There will be some cramping to get the lining and everything out.  There will be bleeding.  Not all miscarriages go smoothly.  If your body does a half-assed job, basically, then you are looking at tissue being left in the womb.  This is also not that uncommon.  This will start rotting and cause the woman to become septic, and if not treated, she will die.  How does one treat a failed miscarriage?  Abortion.  A doctor has to get the rest of the dead tissue out of you, and it is considered a medical abortion.  Which hits on the topic of ‘there is never a need for abortion.’  There is plenty of medical need for abortion.  I believe a woman should choose, but even if you don’t, there are still very sound reasons why abortion is necessary.  This is one of them.

Another issue would be that the mother’s life is in danger, which a lot of Republican officials seem to thing childbirth and pregnancy are not dangerous.  They most certainly are.  I’m not saying that women should stop having babies, but complications can always arise.  It’s not if they will, but when they will.  They could be minor problems to serious complications, but 9/10 women will have some issue that needs addressing while pregnant.  Great advances in medical science have made childbirth less risky than previous decades and centuries, but it still comes with risks.  Most of which can be helped or fixed, if caught in time.  However, these men, in not knowing anything about female bodies, would have us back into the dark ages of neonatal care, so to speak.  There is still danger in carrying and delivering a baby, and these men want to make it worse.  There are lots of instances where the fetus is basically killing the woman.  There’s a whole plethora of things that could endanger the woman’s life, that still do, and in some of those instances, the only way to save the woman is by medical abortion.

What if your fetus has a terminal illness?  I’m not talking that they will be born “wrong” with something like down syndrom or dwarfism.  I’m talking the kind of disease that is detected in the uterus, to where your baby will be birthed stillborn or will not survive hours out of the womb.  I do know a woman who wanted to greet her baby, knowing it would die in hours.  And that was her choice.  To not have a choice seems wrong.  The woman should choose to end the pregnancy and not watch her baby die in her arms, if that is what she chooses.  This is medical abortion.

Which, that point leads me into feelings.  People who don’t know what they’re talking about saying this or that about feelings.  That there are no feelings with real miscarriage, or birth (except apparently happiness), and there are strong feelings of regret with abortion.  I’m not saying there aren’t legitimate feelings involved, but what women are really feeling, first and foremost, are hormone fluctuations.

Perhaps you know you are pregnant, but do not wish to have a baby, then you miscarry.  Your hormones will have you in a tail spin of loss, the same as the woman who wanted a baby and then miscarried.  You could very well be crying tears of joy or sadness depending on which you wanted, but you will most certainly have a lot of feelings strictly because you are female and things concerning your reproductive parts cause hormone fluctuations that also lead to feelings.

Birth is no different.  You might very well be happy to have a baby, but your hormones are still all over the place and will cause great feelings in you, no matter how you feel.  It is always, first and foremost, hormones coursing through your system in determining such strong feelings… or even lack of feelings.

In 9/10 cases of abortion there are not feelings.  Possibly because the body hasn’t done away with the pregnancy by its own means?  I’m not sure since either no one has delved into that, or I’ve just missed reading those findings, so I’m just speculating on the why.  Women who have had safe and proper abortions for a pregnancy they do not want do not end up regretting it.  I’m sure there are feelings with the woman who did want a baby, but had to terminate for health reasons, as that seems logical.  And I’m sure if there were any feelings from abortion in the past, it was from threatening circumstances and unsafe procedures.  In some of the scenarios, which actually did occur, of women going to creepy, unclean places or being covered and shuttled into a van by men, would make me having feelings too!  And obviously if the procedure isn’t preformed correctly, the woman will be in a lot of pain and will regret having gone to that person.  But, as far as the safe and secure abortion one can receive now, women do not report having regrets.  It’s a made up condition, by men, trying to control women.

There are some women who wished and prayed for a baby, but their hormones upon birth could cause them to not wish to see the baby.  And bonding with a newborn is extremely important for the child and the mother.  Bonding occurs with in the first 2 – 4 hours.  After that, the chances of actually have a bond with your baby are slim to none.  There is evidence to support this, but only recently.  There have been times in just this past century where it was not seen as medically important for you to bond with your child.  Now they’ll give it to you as soon as it’s born.  It flip-flops with as much as they know medically, or whatever is the consensus at the time.  Which is not to disqualify the science.  People in the medical profession learn what it is to treat their patient the best as humanly possibly.  Sure some doctors are terrible, and don’t get me started on the price gouging, but the medical information is there to help you.  It’s constantly expanding and being re-tooled with what people find out, all so you won’t die.  Things change.  At least they keep up to pace with it.

It stands to reason, since more affluent people in the 19th and early 20th century would hand their new borns off to a wet-nurse and have absolutely nothing to do with them.  Because it was seemly to have children, just not be with them.  Unless the new mother really wanted to bond with the child upon birth, these mothers never bonded with their children, because kissing them goodnight when they’re four in the nursery before a night out with the husband didn’t count.  It was too little, too late.

Or how women, purely because of hormones, can and do suffer from postpartum depression.  It’s not made up, it’s not to gain sympathy, and by me bringing up hormones it is not an attack on how women are “so hormonal” and damn them for it.  Absolutely not.  Our bodies, even when working properly, pump out hormones and the levels go up and down.  If there is something amiss, they still do this, but in crazy extremes.  Women aren’t broken, even if something is amiss.  Being hormonal is not to be shamed.  It’s something that our bodies will always do.  It may peter off when we are in menopause (which really is when the change is finished), just much reduced.  But hormones do play an integral part in a woman’s body and in real things that are happening inside of her body, and you simply can’t discuss any of this with out including hormones.

So, PPD.  There are people, namely men, who think it is made up.  That women are unhinged for missing the baby being inside of them.  Women do not miss it.  Their body and their hormones are trying to adjust to a new change.  It is very real, and if a woman is suffering from PPD it can be very serious.  Depending on her level of depression, she could very well neglect her child.  She’s not crazy and thinking, “Fuck this kid.  I don’t want it anymore, I’m going to neglect it and hope it goes away.”  Chemical and hormonal imbalances inside of her are out of whack and is why she would be neglecting her baby… if she actually is.

It’s real and women need to go through the process, depending on what their doctor has told them to do.  Uninformed men should never say that PPD is fictitious, shame women for what their bodies do, nor tell women that they shouldn’t have babies because they might kill them, because they’ll suffer from PPD.

However, some people, including political representatives do not know or care to know about how women actually have babies, or of all the complications that can arise.

There’s even a slew of non-medical issues with pregnancy that people just do not talk about.  Doctors do try to get a pregnant woman not to eat when she’s in labour, or to have her use the bathroom.  But that much pressure on other organs and that much pushing and you will poo.  No one talks about that.  Or how the fetus cycles its own fluids back into itself while it’s all cozy in that amniotic sack.  The fetus is drinking its own pee.  It’s how these things work, but no one wants to talk about that either.  Or how after a certain amount of time the fetus will be covered in hair, and will digest that hair (just like the pee) when it comes away.  If you’re baby is born with hair, it just means it didn’t ingest it all, as opposed to the shiny hairless paper another women just birthed.

Or how all of that pressure and pushing to birth that baby?  You will rip skin.  You may rip a lot or a little, but your vaginal opening and all that vulva skin from your vagina to the perineal will rip.  Or how it is not uncommon for babies to be born breach, and you’ll need the doctor to go in and turn the baby.  Or how you will have to do exercises just to get your muscles back up to scratch; vaginal and urinal.

I’ve always wondered if the lack in knowledge is so that women won’t be too scared to have babies.  I know there is a lot of information, but still, all of the more gruesome or creepier things are simply kept in the dark.  Unless you find yourself pregnant and well, then it’s too late because you already want a baby.  No one’s really answered that one yet though.

On the subject of rape.  There is very much a rape culture here in the US, as well as other parts of the world.  People get their knickers in a wad over this, but let me explain.  Rape more often happens to females, and is not uncommon in males, whether they are of the legal age or not.  Eww… I know, people can be really disgusting.

Say a man is raped.  Do you blame it on the clothing he was wearing by saying he was asking for trouble?  No.  That is rape culture.  Men do get raped and no one ever blames it on their outfits.  Or if they were flirting or even if they were dating someone.  Well, she shouldn’t have been flirting, what did she expect?  (Umm… to not be raped!)  But no, if something bad happens to a man, by a woman, because he was flirting with her you call the woman unhinged.  That is rape culture.

Men seem to be under this weird delusion that women are their property and are akin to a real life version of an inflatable sex toy girl.  If they want attention they should look a certain way so men don’t make fun of them, but don’t do it too much or you’ll get unwanted advances and that’s your fault, because if you didn’t want attention you shouldn’t have worn make-up, or done your hair up that way, or worn that outfit.  Their reasoning seems to be that “boys will be boys” and “men can’t help their sexual urges” to “well, she talked to me so therefore I’m owed sex.”

If you really can’t control your sexual urges that well, then you really should be castrated.  For the good of all people.  But you’re not going to do that.  I think it’s ridiculous that this is even a claim.  You can control yourself, you just don’t want to.  You also aren’t taught to control yourself.  Both sexes grow up in a world where the males expect sex no matter want and the females learn to live with it.  However, sex is never owed.  I don’t care if you just met her and paid for a fancy dinner, that you are dating her or are married to her.  No means no.  If she does not want to have sex, and you force yourself on her, then you’ve just raped her.  Yes, even your own wife.

Say you are a spouse who really wanted to have sex with your wife but she wasn’t in the mood, but you didn’t care.  Then you should have no problem if she tells you to do the dishes, but you don’t want to and she then shoves the dishwasher up your ass.  You didn’t want any part of the dishes that night and you certainly didn’t want anything to do with them up your ass, but there ya go.  Obviously I’m being glib because an entire dishwasher can’t fit inside a person, but what if she could force you down and stick something else inside of you; in your ass just because she wanted to, even though you’d said no and you meant it.  You’d be upset.  But she doesn’t have a right to be?  You are not owed sex.  I don’t care if you’ve been married two billion years.

Consent is the key here.  Consent and bodily autonomy.  It doesn’t matter if the girl is willing to have sex and then changes her mind.  She doesn’t consent and if you force her to keep going it is rape.  To have sex with her when she doesn’t want to is any time someone has made you feel small and insignificant by forcing you to do something you don’t.  Against your will.  It’s the bully who made you lick his boot or the bully who shoved your head in a toilet.  You could have agreed to lick his boot, then tried sticking up for yourself by saying no, but he made you do it anyway.  In front of the whole school so they’d all laugh.  To make you feel inhuman.  This is rape.  You are bullying women, and though there’s not an audience of jeering peers, you are taking away her bodily autonomy and forcing her to do what YOU want, and not what SHE wants and it’s demoralizing and sick.

And no the body will not automatically miscarry in rape cases.  It’ll only miscarry if there are natural, scientific factors which cause the body to terminate the pregnancy, just as all rape victims don’t become pregnant because there are natural, scientific factors as to her body not being in the right cycle (or other factors) for an egg to be fertilized.

Sure there are people who cry wolf over all sorts of things and certainly there are women who say they’ve been raped, but have not.  But those women are very, very few and far between.  98% of all women who say they have been raped, have been raped.  But you don’t want to believe them because you think they dress like a whore, or they’ve had sex before, or it will ruin the young fella’s life, or it’s a celebrity that you admire, or it was his girlfriend/wife, or it was a damn Tuesday… or she didn’t report it right away.

Most women don’t report their rapes because of the society that we live in.  A society that shames a woman as being the villain instead of seeing her as a victim of assault, a society that is ready to believe anything under the sun just so they won’t have to believe that someone violated a woman/that a woman was violated.  All sorts of feeble excuses and far off stories so that this crazy woman will just go away.  Most states don’t even process rape kits.  Not because they don’t have the man power, but simply because they see absolutely no point in it.

It’s not because the woman has made up a story, it’s just that pretty much everywhere she looks there are people discussing rape as some sort of farcical theatrics and stating that women were asking for it and other such things or that “she’s obviously lying!”.  Would you report it?  No, you probably wouldn’t.  Unless you’re just the type of gal that has moxie and has a big fuck you for society, chances are you will feel like you did do something wrong and you will be embarrassed to report it; fearful that no one will believe you; fearful that if you do become pregnant from it someone will force your raper to have joint custody; fearful that people will blame you and belittle you, like you are the stain on society.

And by not speaking honestly about rape and rape culture and by stating it’s all the woman’s fault, it creates this perpetual belief.  Women who have been raped, more times than not, don’t even realize that it constitutes as rape.  Not that people are putting fancies into their heads, but they have been trained to believe that if they have a boyfriend, sex is owed.  So even if she didn’t want to have sex, but he continues, well, that’s how these things go.  She might feel weird or awkward or bad, then there again it must be her fault.

It’s misinformation and it does nobody any good.  It’s the same with women’s reproductive health.  Circulating misinformation is educating people not in facts but in lies, which they in turn tell their children and so on and so forth.  It’s why my mother really did believe that being such a young girl of 11, I would only need light pads, because that’s what she was taught.  She really didn’t understand women’s health and taught me all she knew, but it’s not all that was known, just all that people deemed that a young girl should know.  My mother wasn’t being an idiot, she was taught misinformation, which didn’t help her daughter at all.

Misinformation is looking to jail women for having miscarriages.  Having a miscarriage is hard enough with hormonal fluctuations and is even worse if you were happily anticipating a new arrival.  However, because there is this growing consensus amongst woefully ignorant people for whom miscarriages never happen, so the woman obviously had an abortion, is why women face being locked away for what their bodies do naturally.  Pro-life people see “saving babies” and never consider the rest of the domino effect.  They might not even read what all these Personhood Bills actually entail.  They entail that abortion is never the answer, not even for rape, incest, or the mother’s life is endangered.  They state that miscarriages are really covert abortions.  They state that nothing should stand in the way of an egg being fertilized, so contraception should be banned.

These people drafting these bills don’t believe that rape exists, nor apparently incest, however the people who love these bills scream about abominations that are on our doorstep of bestiality and pedophilia.  So, these are real, but not incest or rape?  Give me a break.  There are more instances of rape and incest that bestiality or pedophilia.  That’s like believing that Bigfoot is your next door neighbour, but not believing that the sun is a star or that the Earth orbits around the sun, or if those are too difficult to grasp, then believing that the green stuff on your lawn is called grass.

Also, if these people don’t understand miscarriage, whose to say they understand periods.  A period is the body flushing out an egg.  Isn’t that you not having a baby?  Isn’t that you getting rid of the means to actually have a baby?  Yes.  Whose to say they won’t ban periods next.

And to ban birth control?  Your body does its own birth control by attacking and killing sperm.  It’s not fool-proof, but a woman’s body, naturally, will try its damnedest to kill the sperm and never have a baby attach and grow.  Though our bodies shill out an egg every month, it still sees everything as a threat.  What if that’s under fire next?  You can say that it’s stupid for me to think about this, but they’re already targeting a natural body function, the miscarriage.  They don’t understand a woman’s body and don’t know what they’re talking about, but they’ve decided they know better than everyone, apparently even God.

Besides, the whole banning anything that will stop conception.  They’re taking choice away.  Women aren’t made to be baby making machines.  Some women, few women, can have 15 children and not bat an eye.  Most women do not have that stamina and strength.  You’d say they shouldn’t be having sex if they don’t want children, but let’s see you actually forgo sex when you don’t want a child.  Go ahead.  We won’t hold our breaths while we wait for this to never happen.

I should be able to have sex if I wish, whether I’m married or not, because I am an adult and what I do in my own bed is my own business.  If I don’t want to have children that’s my own business as well.  Banning birth control will only make abortion rates go up.  When women do not want babies then they do not want babies.  Women will always be this way.  Perhaps not all of you, but most of you.  Besides it’s pretty asinine to say that I can’t have sex, when men can have sex when ever they want; or for me to have babies when I don’t want to.  Besides if a contraception pill is keeping a baby from happening (when honestly, the female body does this sort of thing all the time, it’s just that a pill is more precise), then men jerking off is the same thing.  Shouldn’t that sperm be out there making babies?  But no one’s upset that men are masturbating all of their baby making juice away down the drain.

Because men don’t want to police men on their behaviours.  They just want to police women and have other women puppet the men’s views until it’s this huge vicious cycle and women have absolutely no choices left to them.  And for any who wonder how we, as women, don’t have choices, because you were under the illusion that you had all sorts of choices?  When you have free choice, huge groups of people aren’t up in arms over it and trying little by little to squash any sense of the person that you are.

So, the fact that there is a huge fight on what women can and can not do with their bodies means that even any choices we might have are constantly being threatened.  Besides the fact that men make more money than you for doing the same job.  Or that you’ve been conditioned, by men, to think that you’re their pleasure toys.  Dress they way they want you to, have sex with them whenever they want you to, or else everything is all your fault.  In most places a man’s word means more than a woman’s, because we’ve all been led to believe that women are flighty and shallow and don’t know any better, so that men must guide them, which is total BS.

In science, men are peer-reviewed to receive grants and have their findings printed in scientific journals much more than women in the field.  Not because women are lacking in their field, they’re just lacking because they don’t have a penis.  And how many women besides Marie Curie did you ever learn about in school (university included) in the fields of science?  Just her?  perhaps two more, maybe?  Yet there are slews of women who have made great scientific advancements, but no one wants to talk about them, because women, who cares!

I know that this post is all over the place, but honestly, if this was too confusing or you need second opinions, then by all means, go get some real facts by people who honestly know what they are talking about, like an OBGYN, or someone who went through medical school, or someone who took some anatomy classes, someone who researches the science of women, as a lot of women do.  Hell, even a kid can obtain The Visible Woman anatomy kit, as I did for a science project in middle school.  All of her interior reproductive organs were present, as well as a fetus and an extra plastic tummy insert in case you wanted your anatomy woman to be pregnant.  It’s not this “pornographic” that people like to throw around, and while it didn’t help me with questions on menstruation, it did help me know the parts in my own body.

And I understand that the older generations don’t like terms like vagina, sperm, penis, etc.  They don’t want to know what goes on inside a woman’s body, or with the outside.  That’s fine.  Just don’t try to shame women about it, or verbally tell people it’s disgusting and by all means don’t try to police women on their bodies, since you don’t want to know.  If you are cool about it and don’t vote for people who also don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, then you can stay in your cocoon of no women’s info allowed.  I won’t force it on you.  But you try to vote for things without having knowledge and I will talk about bloody tampons, vulva’s, vaginal tears, cervical cancer, and fallopian tubes until the cows come home.  I won’t let you escape it because how dare you vote for bills or for representatives who have grossly inaccurate opinions on women’s issues and no facts, and think that’s OK.  It’d be like me saying, “Well, men don’t pee and jizz out of the penis and it’s this other place, so let’s get up a bill to have the penis cut off.  Men clearly don’t need it.”  Or, “The prostate?  That’s made-up.  It’s conservative propaganda!  I will not be party to prostate exams and checks on any health care insurance.”

 

 

 

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